open letter

i'm writing to wonderland

people in wonderland like to stare me down

2014 in shanghai was judgement for a sin i had not committed

2017 in luoyang was judgement for words i didn't say

i'm writing to the cities there

streets in the cities there smell like raw produce and damp

2005 in beijing was my first taste of a second home

2014 in xi'an was my first taste of 110°f

i’m writing to side streets and alleys

the off-roads are the lifeblood and breath of cities

2012 in beijing was choked up by tourist attractions

2012 in beijing was choked off from the neighborhoods and small vendors

i’m writing to myself, li xiaohan

forgetting myself was the best thing

2010 in beijing i got lost in the late fatigue-drunken walks past rows of parked motorbikes

2016 in beijing i got lost in the escapism of a new routine

Dear China,

Thank you for keeping me even though I've sold you countless times.

Yours forever,

李晓晗